The Guinness book of Records lists some amazing and incredible, some more incredible than others, feats. Take for example, the story of Valentina Vassilyev. In the annals of maternal history, no woman stands quite as tall (and perhaps as exhausted) as Valentina. An 18th century Russian peasant, she holds the world record for the most children born to a single mother.
Staggeringly, between 1725 and 1765 Valentina underwent a total of 27 pregnancies. With elite level fecundity she allegedly gave birth to 69 children — including 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets. If the story is above board, then Valentina makes complaining about your kids seem, maybe, a bit dramatic.
As a mum Valentina would have needed to be a superhero to address the range of needs for every one of her kids. And so, there are questions as to the veracity of this claim to legendary reproductive achievement. This said, in the cold hard light of the 21st century, mums are indeed superheros whether they have 1 or 69 kids, particularly mums of sons.
On Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day. This is rightly a time to acknowledge mums, unsung superheroes who shape the future one son at a time. With a unique blend of love, patience and exasperation, they play a pivotal role in their sons’ lives. In subtle yet profound ways, mothers guide and shape the development of good boys into good men.
Mothers are the emotional anchors. According to John Bowlby's Attachment Theory, a secure attachment with a mother provides a foundation of trust and security. This bond helps sons navigate the tumultuous seas of life with confidence. A ship without an anchor will drift aimlessly; this is a son without his mother's emotional support.
Mothers are empathy engines. They teach their sons crucial emotional intelligence skills, recognising and validating emotions. If a young boy falls and scrapes his knee, mum is there with a band-aid, a hug and words of comfort. This simple act teaches him empathy, a trait that will make him a compassionate partner and friend.
Mothers are a behavioural blueprint. Research shows that boys with strong maternal bonds are less likely to exhibit behavioural problems. We can think of mothers as the architects of their sons' moral compass. They lay the groundwork for honesty, kindness and respect.
Mothers are social skills coaches. From teaching "please" and "thank you" to navigating the complex world of friendships, mothers are there every step of the way. Engaging in play, conversation and problem-solving activities helps develop these skills. Mum is the ultimate social skills referee, blowing the whistle on bad manners while applauding good behaviour.
Mothers are confidence catalysts. Positive reinforcement and support from mothers help sons develop self-esteem and confidence. Mums are supreme cheerleaders, dressed in team colours and supporter kit, always chanting, "You can do it!" This encouragement helps sons tackle challenges head-on, knowing they have a diehard fan in their corner.
Five Things Mums Can Do to Raise Good Men
- Model Respectful Behaviour: Young men learn by example. Show them how to treat others with respect and they'll follow suit.
- Encourage Open Communication: Create an environment where your son feels comfortable expressing his thoughts and feelings. This fosters emotional intelligence and strong communication skills.
- Teach Responsibility: Encourage taking on jobs and responsibilities to instil a sense of accountability. A boy who knows how to take care of his own mess is one who respects his environment as well as the environment of others.
- Promote Empathy: Encourage the consideration of others' feelings and perspectives, through discussions and modelling empathetic behaviour. Whether it's sports, arts or science, support your son's interests. This boosts his confidence and also teaches him the value of pursuing his passions.
On Friday night hopefully many mums and sons will be excitedly attending the first of our community events this year, Mums and Chums. This enjoyable evening allows an important bond to build while engaging in a bit of good-natured House against House competition. There will be food; there will be questionable point allocation but there will also be much fun.
Mothers play an indispensable role in forming their sons into good men. As emotional anchors, empathy engines, behavioural blueprints, social skills coaches and confidence catalysts, mothers wear many hats. What is unquestionable though, is that behind every great man is a mother who believed in him first.
To all our Eddies mums, for this Sunday, Happy Mother's Day!
