I wonder if the following experience is at all familiar. You are in the middle of a sound sleep; happily ensconced in the safety of your oh so comfortable bed; nestled deeply under the comforting weight of soft warm blankets. Suddenly, without warning, the light is turned on. You awaken abruptly; the intensely bright light invades your eyes. Vengefully, painfully, you blink rapidly, you try to adjust to this new state of being. Initially you are confused. A spectrum of varyingly intense emotions plays through your blurred mind. Nothing is clear and then, slowly, as you adjust, your rapidly blinking eyelids begin to slow their frenetic pace. Taking in the new conditions, your environment comes into focus. Clarity begins to take hold and at last you see what is around you. At some stage, perhaps not exactly as I describe here, I would imagine this experience of a rude awakening has been something undergone by most.
Over the last few weeks, as a school, as a community and as a society, we have been rudely awakened to the reality of notions surrounding consent. In relationships between friends and colleagues, even partners, the recent internet testimonies of so many young women have made us agonisingly aware of our lack of understanding of their lived experience. These testimonies raw, powerful and sadly all too common have hopefully awakened us to the necessity of dealing with a long-neglected aspect of educating young people. I include below an excerpt from a letter sent to our community on Tuesday.
It has become confrontingly evident from the number of brave young women who have submitted their accounts that schools in partnership with parents and our wider community, must address the issue of sexual consent. These harrowing stories of abuse remind us that we must never cease seeking effective ways to educate our young men. Our goal not only should be, but must be, to endeavour to eliminate gender prejudice and discrimination, as well as ensuring a deep understanding of respect and importantly, consent.
The notion of “The Eddies Team” has been one which the College has promoted over the last few years. The Eddies Community is strong and all of us, staff, parents and caregivers, as well as our young men, play an integral part in a St Edmund’s education. The four foundations of our formation program — Eddies Men Can (EMC) — are Respect, Resilience, Reflection and Responsiveness and we pride ourselves in developing young men who are strong, kind and gentle.
Yesterday as part of our celebration and acknowledgment of International Women’s Day our young men and our staff signed a pledge to “act respectfully in my relationships with all women”. As a school we have programs in place dealing with sexual development and relationships. Notwithstanding this, we will continue to review these programs as well as research and implement further strategies to educate our young men in this and other significant aspects of their lives.
The issue of consent, however, stands as an imperative in ensuring safety and respect in the relationships our young people will have with others. Dr Michael Carr-Gregg, a renowned Australian Child Psychologist presents regularly on adolescents and their development. I include this link to a video outlining information that can be used as the basis of conversation with your sons at home.
https://schooltv.me/wellbeing_...
I appreciate that broaching this topic may be difficult, but I encourage you to engage your sons in these important discussions. They are conversations that need to be supported at school, at home and in society in general.
Our young men can experience life at a distance, through the lens of the internet and the representations of popular culture, giving them unrealistic perceptions of the world. How much more important is it then, to awaken to the realities of navigating relationships in the twenty first century? In blinking away what was accepted in the past, we must focus on what has become evident today and ensure that we play our part as parents, caregivers, teachers and mentors, to prepare, engage and guide our young men, and indeed all young people. Young people of whatever gender must have the confidence to assert their human rights, to respect each other’s personal boundaries and to rightly value the relationships they have with those who share their lives.
